Feeling inferior to boyfriend and his work.

My boyfriend runs a film production company with his business partner that makes videos for a lot of very glamorous things (yachts, supercars, luxury men’s brands, private jets etc). He gets to travel all over the world and stay in luxury accommodation while he’s working. He loves his job and he’s worked extremely hard to get where he is. The types of people he interacts with are all mostly very young, successful and beautiful people and I feel really intimidated by all of it.

I’m an aspiring songwriter and I currently live at home with my Mom because I don’t make much money from music. I also work a part-time admin job that I hate in order to pay my way in life. And I don’t make enough money to travel, or move out, or buy expensive clothes.

I’ve joined scholars to try and work on my self esteem and victim mentality because I feel like I’m holding myself back a lot. I often find myself shrinking into the background around my boyfriend and his co-workers or friends because I feel like I’m such a failure and like I don’t fit into their “world”. (Although honestly I don’t even want to be a part of it). Does this mean we might be incompatible?

This causes me so much emotional pain and seems to perpetuate my feelings of inferiority and inadequacy. He earns a lot more than me, and his ex was a successful lawyer who used to earn about twenty times what I earn now. And she is the same age.

I do love him and I want to be with him because I love who he is at the core of his being. But everything around him, his work, his business partner, his extravagant lifestyle etc. makes me feel like a child. Do I just need to end the relationship until I’m successful enough to not feel intimidated and pathetic by comparison like I do right now?

I don’t really know where to start making a model out of these because there’s so much – I think it would take about 1000 models! Is there something I should maybe try to focus on first?

Thanks so much