I’m 46. I’ve always loved my body. In past few months I’ve gone through a divorce and lost 20lbs. For first time I now see myself and think negative thoughts about how I look. Thoughts are “I’m too thin”. “I look like a skeleton with skin”. “I look like one of those bobble heads with a big head and tiny body”. “I look gross”. I’ve tried gaining the weight back but have been unsuccessful. This is new territory for me. I know how to get to neutral. I have a body. No problem. I’m 20lbs lighter than I was before. Ok. I can even find some positive thoughts like “wow my abs have zero fat and look better than they ever have, I love my torso!” Then I see myself in a reflection or on video or a photo and am shocked at how thin I look. Then I feel… well, shocked. I don’t really feel embarrassed or shameful, just shocked and I don’t like it. It doesn’t look good. Or healthy. I think “wow that girl needs to eat a sandwich, she’s way too skinny”. It doesn’t help that my friends and family have also noticed and expressed concern for my well being. I feel ok and healthy physically. Mentally not so much. I think if I could put 10-20 lbs back on, I would feel better because I would look better. Healthier.