Ok here’s a partial response to the answer to my previous question.

“What are you imagining would be different about your relationship if your sexual relations were more frequent?”
– I guess I view the physical part of our relationship as an expression of how connected and harmonious we are. So, when it isn’t happening, I feel like we are off. Sometimes that directly expressed by my partner – “when we aren’t good, I don’t feel like doing that.” And sometimes he says everything is fine, it’s just not his priority.

This brings up something else for me – want matches. A want match for me is having a romantic partner that wants to have sex with me every day. Initially, I thought we had that. Now that we don’t, I’m having the thought that we don’t have a want match in this way. I’m not sure what to do with that. I can fulfill other want matches that we don’t have with other people, like venting to a friend about work instead of him. But I want to be monogamous so I don’t want to just sleep with someone else. Then do I just accept that we don’t have that aspect, and settle for it being ok?