I recently started working with a matchmaking service and had a date with my second match earlier this week (we’ll call him Match #2 or M2). There were things I really liked and things that I didn’t like, but we both submitted positive feedback to the matchmaker and both wanted to see each other again. After you both submit “yes” to the matchmaker, phone numbers are exchanged. He called today and asked if I wanted to go to brunch tomorrow. I said yes and he said he’d drive to NJ to meet me if I wanted to set up the reservation.

TD: I shouldn’t have agreed to a last-minute date. This shows I don’t have anything else going on and he’s going to think that he can just suggest things last minute and that I’ll drop everything for him. This makes me look desperate. I should have made him wait to see me again. I shouldn’t have been so available. This is a mistake. Part of me hoped he wouldn’t call so I wouldn’t have to manage my mind around this.

C: Date #2 with M2 scheduled tomorrow.
T: I shouldn’t have agreed to a last-minute date
F: Disappointed
A: Beat myself up for not delaying the date to next week. Question whether he is going to look at me differently because I was so available. Not be excited about the date. Don’t look at the menu.
R: I’m making the amount of time between our first and second date mean something wrong… but only because of my thoughts

I try to be so cautious of love bombing and future faking so I typically don’t say yes to last-minute dates and I try to create space between dates. But I was excited because I haven’t had a second date in a LONG time. And I like brunch. And I didn’t have plans because of the uncertainty of the weather this weekend. And now I’m second-guessing myself.

Coaching, please.