At the end of the week I have a lot of things I haven’t been able to complete and when I look at them, I can see why. They are things I really don’t want to do. Like, get my passport renewed, reschedule a dentist appointment, call the bank…. all of these things I have the thought that says “UGHHHHHHHHHHHH this is going to be needlessly difficult, and nothing ever gets done right.” Which, has been my experience. Everything is painful and is super annoying to try to fix, and it never gets done in one try.
I’ve already called the bank three times and they haven’t done what they said they’d do. I just pulled up the passport renewal form and it’s four pages long and bc I’m applying internationally I have to do all this extra work. And the dentist, I just don’t want to go to the dentist because I’m scared of having to sit there for a long time while she’s messing around in my mouth with no way to distract myself. There are plenty of tasks like this that I just keep moving to the next week again and again and again.
So, let’s take the passport:
C I would like to renew my passport before it expires
T this is going to be a huge pain that drags on and on
A start application and don’t finish it
R this continues to be a huge pain that drags on and on
Okay, I think I’d like to start with my desired result with this one:
T I’m very good at getting this stuff done and checked off my list (I do believe this, I’m good at this in many respects). This is no big deal, just get it done. I don’t need any thought drama in order to get this done. There is no problem here.
F Like “I got this” (efficient, maybe? confident? DETERMINED)
A Fill out forms, get passport photos taken, go to Fedex and send it
R Passport is submitted
C I would like to get my teeth repaired while I still have dental insurance
T this is too stressful, I can’t handle the anxiety, there is never going to be a good time to do this
A I think about scheduling it but don’t, I think about asking for a xanax but don’t, I think about scheduling it in multiple appointments, but I don’t do anything. I just feel bad about delaying it constantly.
R I perpetuate the anxiety about it and drag it on forever
Starting again with the desired result:
T I like my dentist, I am sure there is a way that I can do this while minimizing my anxiety around it. This is a situation where I want to make minimizing my stress a priority, and it is okay to take the time and measures I need to do to achieve that.
F Calm, trusting in myself and the dentist office
A Call dentist and book, tell them you want to do the fillings first and the crown later (with xanax and sedation), ask if it makes sense to do the crown in two steps (I think my nerves are around the amount of time it will take), schedule the fillings and crown. Book half day off work to do the crown and tell boss, block calendar.
R Dentist appointment booked and committed to, and I’m experiencing minimal anxiety about it
C I want to get my check from the bank
T I’ve already called the stupid bank numerous times, calling again feels futile
A I don’t call and just sit here thinking about how I should call
R My thinking about how I “should” call proves futile because I continue to take no action
Starting with the desired result
T Sometimes things just don’t work efficiently, and it’s not your fault (I’m having a tough time finding more thoughts that create “patience”. Most of my thoughts are saying how this is going to take longer and everybody is stupid and nothing works).
A Find the phone number to call, check that they have the correct address, ask them to resend it again, ask to speak with a manager.
R Bank is called and check is in the mail