Friendships – Peer Pressure and Guilt

Hi there,

I have a great group of friends. We usually do tons of things together but with the self-coaching work, I realized that most of the time I was doing activities with them, it was to people please and I used to resent the situations afterwards.

I have changed those patterns and now I only join them when I truly want to. They don’t necessarily understand that change, and they only see me when I am completely happy to be there. As they think I am happy all the time when I am with them, they don’t understand why I am not always with them. It’s a loop.

I understand it’s their models, but I can’t get away from the guilt of not being with them when they do something. I know that I am making a choice out of love for myself but in the moment I always think “I am not a good friend.”. It gets worse when I am actually by myself because I just want to be myself and do things alone, I constantly have thoughts like : “what is wrong with me? Am I mean and selfish? Am I doing something wrong here?” .

I really want to let go of the guilt, especially because I know that I am making the right choice for me and my friends.

Thanks for your help!