I’m building a big beautiful family house for my parents and sister, which I can also stay in. I also want to have my own separate house (I am leasing a separate home right now).

However, I’m tired of living alone in my current 4 bedroom house.

The solution was to find a gf to move in with me. I found her. She’s amazing. We’re in love. We started dating 1 month ago. She is out of town for 2 months but will move back to my town in August. She said she wants to move in with me at some point, but she is 50/50 at this point because she might want to live with her current roommates and closer to college to enjoy her last year of college of more, and then move in with me a year later after graduation. But after speaking with her about it more, she said if she feels living with me would be better for her, she could change her mind anytime and move in with me in August or later. But she did not give me a guarantee, and I don’t want to pressure her to give me an answer and I would like her to do what makes her happy and what feels right for her.

I wanted to get a big dream home for myself and my gf – the way I’ve been envisioning getting for a few years. I just didn’t have anyone to live in it with me. At this stage of my life I was going to buy this dream home with my wife, but her and I divorced a couple of years ago. I still have the dream of owning a nice home with just me and my romantic partner, even if my ex-wife is no longer in the picture. I know my thoughts create my results so I could easily find a suitable partner to live with me by August and everything can workout great, even if my gf chooses to live separately for now. She said she still wants to see me daily and wants to spend the night at my house at least once a week for now.

I feel torn about getting my own dream house now. I don’t not want to get it because of my girlfriend’s model and decisions. I want to get what I want because I simply like it for myself. But I also think it might be too much house for 1 person if I don’t find a suitable partner to live in the house with me – and then also be somewhat a waste of money that I could save for now and invest elsewhere on traveling or in my coaching business.

The alternative is that I can stay in the new big family home I’m building when I want to be around others and I can get a nice size apartment I can hop over to if I ever feel I need my own space. It would be less of a time commitment, less money, and could give me more time to perhaps find someone to live with in my own bigger home or see how my gf feels at that point about moving in with me if I got a bigger house for us.

But I feel like having that option B is me already giving up on the possibility that my gf may want to move in with me into my dream home in August. So why not focus my thoughts and feelings there and manifest that result? I feel like by me already giving up on it and looking for alternatives, my thoughts are creating a reality that will have my gf not live with me and me be in a bigger house living alone again, and maybe not finding someone I can live with by August.

What do you think I should do….go with the bigger house just for myself and be prepared that my gf, someone else or no one else may live in it?
OR
Get an apartment for now and be okay with using the big family house as a secondary place I can live in for the next few months?