Hi Brooke

I had a falling out with a friend over a year ago. Unfortunately (my thoughts) we still have a lot of mutual friends, so she’s still in my general orbit and I think about her from time to time. I have always wanted to believe that my life is better than hers, I need to be the one our friends like better, I have the better boyfriend, etc… so in my mind I put her down, and I want to control her thoughts of thinking I’m better. I realize this is futile exercise. I’m practicing models and trying to generate new thoughts – do you think this is a scarcity mentality? How can I move on and be happy for myself…and not only get her out of my mind but feel happy or neutral when I hear/see her.

C She is a person
T I need to be better than her
F inadequate .. stressed .. insecure
A compare, keep tabs on her, do things I normally wouldn’t to prove I’m cool, judge, talk trash,
R I feel worse

C same
T She needs to think I’m better than her
F insecurity
A create a caricature of myself to share with her, make our friends like me better, paint her in a negative light
R feel worse and inauthentic

INTENTIONAL –

C She is a person
T My life is great
F secure
A don’t make comparisons, stay in my life, be happy for myself and others, do what I want to do, don’t worry
R happy with my own life & don’t make comparisons
(THIS ONE DOESN’T FEEL ..ENOUGH)

I think the best one is…

C we are people
T there is plenty for me and everyone else
F abundance
A be genuinely happy for others, work hard on myself, etc
R be happy for myself and don’t worry about others.