For the past few weeks I’ve been preparing my taxes alongside a firm I hired to help me. I was not too pleased with their service, but I coached myself through each thing, and magically I found myself feeling happy, easygoing, accepting, helpful, etc at each step. It’s been great!

Until this morning, when another annoying thing happened and I totally didn’t coach myself about it because it was really hard, and I just got swept into the annoyed mindset (ooh just realized that the thing that happened was a neutral circumstance, and I knee-jerked into thinking thoughts that made me feel annoyed. And I just felt justified about them, so I kept thinking them. Cool!).

So eventually, after this happened, I got tired of feeling bad and I coached myself on it and now I feel a bit better. But I am also feeling annoyed about letting myself go to the annoyed feeling for so long. And I’m kind of annoyed I’m not feeling 100% better, only a bit better – not as good as the last few times when I would coach myself about this firm.

Here are some thoughts:
I shouldn’t have felt annoyed at all (F: tight)
My husband saw that I got annoyed (F: embarrassed)
I got us both annoyed (F: disappointed)
I didn’t have to feel annoyed (F: ?)
Now that I’ve let myself feel annoyed, it’s hard to go back (F: regret / sorrow / disappointment / hopeless like I lost something)

Ah, I think it’s that last sentence that does it. I feel like I ruined it, like all that good coaching I did wasn’t that good, and now I can’t get back to my original good-feeling mood.

Ok, here we go:

C: Felt annoyed in the morning
T: Now I can’t get back to my original good-feeling mood
F: Disappointment
A: Trying hard to find the “in” again, find out how I got into my good mood before, not letting myself off the hook
R: Not sure? Maybe it’s: Not letting myself get back to feeling great

What do you think?