Girlfriend’s16 year old daughter died suddenly and unexpectedly

Hi Brooke, My dear friend recently lost her 16 year old daughter, suddenly and unexpectedly. She is in extreme grief and sadness using drugs and alcohol in an attempt to buffer. She is in so much pain that she is losing her life, her business and soon her home.

Of-course this is her life, however this brings up a lot stuff for me:

1st: I can not find any words to say to her… My heart goes out to hear…There are no words. What could I say?

2nd: This scares me because a few years back something very similar happened to my sister and her pain resulted in her destroying her life,my sister lost her home, her life, her business and went through years of horrific suffering and I see my friend doing the same thing.
My sister said, that she lost everything because she loved so much and the pain was unbearable.

So my question is, life is going to happen. Grief and sadness are such powerful and painful emotions. How does one work through a situation like this without losing everything? Is it even possible? I am so afraid of experiencing extreme grief and sadness.
Any thoughts on this would be most helpful.
Thank you!