I know you talked about guilt a little bit on the call today and it brought to mind an ongoing guilt I feel about my son.
When he was a baby, he got a burn on his wrist while I was holding him.
I still feel terrible about it every time I look at the scar.
I know the past can’t be changed, but I struggle with a positive thought to feel better about the situation. Every time I see the scar, it’s a reminder that I made a mistake and have scarred my child for life. I make it mean that I am not a good mom, I don’t deserve to have children, I should have been more careful, someday he may be angry and/or not forgive me for the scar and on and on.
I know that you often use the idea, this is exactly what was meant to be because it has happened.
It’s still hard to wrap my head around how this is “good” for him or even meant to be.

C- my son got a burn and subsequent scar
T- I am an awful mom. I have ruined this child’s perfect little body.
F- sad, guilty, pain (awful to see him with bandages and braces during treatment which just ended this month)
A- detach a little for fear of hurting again
R- I’m not showing up as my best

C- my son got a burn and subsequent scar
T- It was an accident. I was trying to do my best.
F- ?? I still feel sad here and don’t know of a believable thought to help me out of this
A-
R-

Somehow I think staying in the guilt and sadness is a means of “punishing” myself for what has happened. If I feel sad/awful, then I can share in some small piece of the pain that he felt and the lifetime of dealing with a scar that was not his fault and people potentially judging me (out of my control). I can see that feeling this way doesn’t help anything when I write it out, but I still can’t find a good sticking new thought.