help – my manual for people is the root of all my issues

Hi Brooke,

I have an airtight manual. For myself, for people, for situations, for things people say, noises they make, dogs that bark, the neighbors who are loud, the colleagues who are rude, etc. Everything happening around me makes me miserable. It’s very victim-y in my my head right now.

Okay, now that that’s out… what the hell can I do about it? I’ve been in SCS for a year and still cannot scratch the surface of not being insane about a lot of things that just don’t bother other people. I feel like it’s slowly killing me and my sanity. Dramatic, I know, but I feel like I’m at the end of my rope. Can you help me with a plan to get out of this manual? My specific questions are:

1) Do I work on models for my overall manual or do I go into each exact thought and work on that?
2) How and when do I work on changing these thoughts or my overall manual? Do I write a new one?Or, if I am not working the thought/issue in the moment, since I’m triggered, do I go back in the evening and list out all the things I did or judgements I made and start to try on new thoughts?
3) Is there really an end in sight? You say you’re very easy going and unflappable… that’s how I want to be! I don’t get how I can be that person.

Thank you Brooke 🙂