Hoarding money

My husband and I are retired, he is 66 and I am 56. He has alot more money than me and makes alot of the decisions on how he spends it. Expensive cars, vacations, clothes. He is very generous to me. Meanwhile I decided to live off a portion of my income that does not allow me to contribute to first class plane tickets etc. Partly because it’s not that important to me (though certainly it is nice) and partly because I have a fear that he will spend all his money and I will be left with nothing. (He refuses to make a will that would make this clear and I am tored of fighting about it.). I think it is making both of us angry. He wants me to spend my money and for my part I feel I have lost any say in how we live our lives because I don’t pay for it. I want to be an equal. I want to be more generous. I could give him all my money so we would
have joint assets but how would I feel when he buys something I don’t ‘approve’ of. For two people who are reasonably well off, we are pretty hung up on money. And I am getting really sad and angry that he makes so many decisions for us.
Is the answer that I live in abundance and trust that I will always have enough? Because that would for sure require some bridge thinking!
Would love some help with this!