Holidays and Emotional Childhood

It seems like every holiday I settle into emotional childhood. For Mother’s Day yesterday I threw a temper tantrum and placed the blame on my 5 year old son and husband. Blaming son for not wanting to take a picture with me and blaming husband for not wanting to go on a family walk. I felt entitled that they should do everything I want, the way I want it because it is Mother’s Day and it’s my day. I was so upset thinking “here we go again, I have to fight them for what I want”. I knew I had a choice, so instead of hanging out with them and being at their mercy, I decided to do what I wanted and ditched them.

C – Mother’s Day
T – Here we go again, I have to fight them for what I want.
F – Upset
A – Changed the plans for the morning, went to my mother’s house enjoyed time with her, went shopping to buy what I wanted, ran some errands, didn’t spend the day with the kids, ended the day with pool and dinner with the kids, blamed husband and son for my feelings.
R – I ditched my family to avoid unease and to make my day about what I wanted.

I want to explore why I behave like this, I push my family away around holidays because I have these expectations it should be one way and when things don’t line up, I turn into a child, throw a tantrum and blame. Do you have any questions that I could explore around this behavior of mine and does my model align?