Housework between Husband and Wife

Hi Brooke,

I’m asking this question from the point of view of my Mom. I know that when we choose what we think, we can end our own suffering. But I think of my parents: my Mom does so much of the work at their home and my Dad does not. He doesn’t clean his dishes, so she has to clean them. He doesn’t put his tools away, so she has to put them away. He doesn’t clean up the garage… you get the idea.

She wants to live in a clean, organized home, and she creates it for herself. But he lives there too and makes a mess, which he then doesn’t clean up. How does she reconcile with this? She makes requests all the time, and they go unanswered. I know she can choose thoughts here that won’t cause her suffering, but I feel like this is a common route to how women end up doing all if not most of the housework in a relationship – and we’re just supposed to be ok with it. What do you think here?

(I know this does not appear to be my issue, but it’s something I also struggle with, this was just a very obvious example to articulate it)