C: I work with xx at the hospital
T: xx talks too much and slows down the flow of the day
F: anxious
A: angry at myself for being impatient because xx is a good smart person (she has a right to be slow and over analytical)
-complaining about xx work style to my family (then I feel guilty for being negative when I get home)
-pushing to hurry our day so I get out out on time,
-not being my best self(I should be able to stay calm and kind)
-not able to do my best work because of mind chatter of judgement of xx in my head all day,
-wasting my evening time at home trying to come up with ways to be more honest and less of a people pleaser
-beating myself up for thinking my way is the better way
-apologizing to her for my stress which can’t be pleasant for her to be around
R: Hating myself and my job

C: I work with xx
T:
F: calm
A:
R: I leave work without tight shoulders and a stomach ache

Help please and thank you!

I know my impatience and stress is escalated by the hospital stress mounting with increased covid patients we need to be seeing daily. I know I am human. My goal at the start of each day is to be open and curious to her style but that doesn’t last long. I know I can’t change her. I can’t not work with her. So I need a better strategy! I am resisting she is not following my manual! I wish I could figure this out. I am trying to find the positives…daily epic failures means I am learning a lot about myself? Other ideas?