I am going through a divorce in which my husband had done a number of actions that brought up thoughts in me about not liking that action. Given these actions I had to decide how I thought about them, and I had entertained that these actions would make me want to divorce him. I was at times irritable with him. I got to the place that I decided I can make my own happiness regardless of what is happening for him and I. He now wants a divorce, which to me means that he has decided I am the problem in his life. This feels sad, because although I feel hurt, I also love him. I also let it mean that something is wrong with me – since he must think this if he wants a divorce.

Separate from this, I am having a hard time accepting reality that the man I was married to for 10 years and with for nearly 15 years is acting like a stranger/enemy to me, and seems to want to harm me (emotionally not physically). I feel sad. I have gotten the feedback that the next step is to accept reality and feel my feelings: sadness.

How do I do this? I feel as if I have been trying, in that I do feel sad, sometimes I cry. When I cry along I feel hopeless and lonely. If I cry with a friend, some are okay with that, others try to get me to feel a different way/cheer me up, which feels inconsistent with how I actually feel. And I’m also sensitive to not wanting to overburden my friends with my negative emotion.
I’m wondering if there is a “how to” on feeling my feelings or “processing an emotion.” I’ve broken down crying a number of times now… is that it?
I also feel fear about my future. This was stronger before having a decent lawyer, but it still exists.

Usually when I am feeling the emotion, it is accompanied by thinking a lot of sadness or fear inducing thoughts. Is this okay? Or the wrong way to do it?
If I am not thinking those thoughts actively, I’m usually just have this background sadness/gloom/fear kind of looming in the background while I feel “okay” otherwise, on task with other things.
Thank you for your help!