How to find the way back to love again?

Thank you for reading and responding .
I’m a Diamond scholar and a certified coach, and most of all a human, with all good and bad .
“I’m struggling to find the way back to love” – not a Circumstance, I know that .
I’m modeling my way out of my daily thoughts about my husband.  It helps for 5-10 minutes and then it is back .
My thoughts about him are mainly,

“He is not the man I used to be in love with”
“He is a big disappointment”
“He is lazy”
“I can not understand how little he wants in life”
“I am wasting my time”
“I made a mistake marrying him, now we have shit to fight over”
“He must be miserable as well”
“He despises me”
“I’m not attractive to him any more”
“He says painful things to me”

Every single thought had been modeled, and of course I create the result that proves my thought.

I’m trying to give all the thoughts equal air time.  I list all the things that I like about him,

“He is handsome”
“He loves my daughter”
“He loves animals”
“He vacuums the house”
“He can fix things”
“He is a good driver”
“We look hot together”

I can’t come close to feeling of Love.

Brooke’s Conversations with her BF stirred up some doubts in my mind . What do I want?  Who do I want to be with?  What does evolving and growing mean for me?

Knowing how much time I spend on thinking shitty thoughts about my husband, I know that I’m not nearly ready to complete this relationship .

I struggle to find my way back to loving him, just as he is .

Please, give some perspective . Thank you.