I am working through something and I need some support.
I don’t have a question per se, and when I have posted these sorts of posts in the past, the coaches have given some really good insight for me to consider.
Here is the circumstance.
My husband had been sober, or so I thought for 3 years.
2 weeks ago I saw him taking a swig from a bottle of rum and asked if he was drinking.
It was the birthday of his supposed sobriety. He had had almost a 26 ounce bottle of rum over 2 days.
Today my daughter pulled out a mickey of vodka from her toy box
She asked me what it was. My husband was sitting there having just finished a breakfast of pancakes.
So I asked him.
It was a calm conversation. He said some words. Thank God for Scholars. I was able to just be with him and acknowledge out loud that he was lying. I felt calm because I was thinking – this isn’t really a surprise.
I asked him, “if he were me, what would he do.” He said kick him out.
I saw the Thought Download happening in my head (it was kind of cool actually).
And then I asked myself what do I want to do, with the caveat that I want to really like my reason for choosing what I was choosing.
We have 3.5 year old twins.
So I reached out to a series of groups asking for nanny help for at least 5 weeks
I spoke to 2 friends who know about his history of drinking.
While I was doing that, he was researching rehab places – they are 5 weeks.
I almost have the 5 weeks planned out where I have a nanny.
He can go to rehab.
Now my issue is what to say to the kids. This is where I am stuck.
Daddy won’t be there to put them to bed. To make them dinner.
To play with them.
C – Kids and Daddy – he won’t be at home for 5 weeks to put them to bed, to snuggle them, to make them dinner to play with them.
T – What do I tell the kids about where he is?
F – Sad
A – Ruminate a little on this being “a moment in their life”, want to curl up and cry (which I will do as I type and after)
R – I still don’t have an answer for what to tell the kids.
I am going to sit with this feeling … I don’t want to jump to an Intentional Model just yet.
I trust myself to be able to keep doing what I need to do even while I am sad.
I trust I will be able to connect with them. It doesn’t matter that I don’t know what to say. I can speak from my heart.
That this can bring me and the kids closer together
I also fully know that they will process this in their own ways with their own models and I get the opportunity to be with them.
Also for me…..there is something about loving myself. I know I already have my own back, but there is something more about Love – like an uplevelling of Love or something like that. Almost divine, but not quite that.
Thanks for any feedback.
Much love to the coaches, and thank God for Scholars.
PS….. I also KNOW that this event is propelling me to my impossible revenue goal for 2021