Husband cheated — now what?

Hi Brooke,

I need to be coached on a circumstance that continues to haunt me. My husband cheated on me about 3 years ago multiple times (with different women.) One of them was a mutual friend.

Through my self-coaching, I feel like I have done a lot of work on forgiving him and trying to move on. I know for sure that I want to stay married to him, as he is a wonderful father to our children and I actually still love him and like his company.

My struggle is with how to trust him completely again. I still have some doubt that he will stay faithful to me now, although he promises that he will, he says he loves me and doesn’t want a divorce, and completely owned up to how much he f-ed up.

We have communicated a lot, talked through the reasons why he cheated (he felt isolated from me, was going through a mid-life crisis at the time), and we even went to counseling together a few times. For what it’s worth, the flings he had were not romantic in nature, just momentary sexual releases.

So….how can I move past this? How can I trust him again? What happens if he cheats again? Should I leave? How can I learn to trust? If his only job in our marriage is to be there to love me, does he even have the obligation to stay faithful? Am I being fair to him?

I appreciate any advice you have for me. Thanks as always.