husband (D)

A few years back my husband had an emotional affair. We have been in therapy and healing. He’s been contrite and has apologized. We recently attended a family wedding (his family). At the reception he gave his family a lot of attention and was polite to me but not connected or engaged with me. I felt hurt. I thought that given our circumstance he would have chosen to show his love for me. We talked about this afterward and he said that he would have liked for me to tell him that I needed attention. I feel like if I have to tell him then he doesn’t really love me. If he loved me, if he was tuned into me, then he would know that a wedding would be a trigger. We’ve worked with the issue that I feel like my needs come last to him. I know I have a lot of thoughts here. They seem so so true to me. They seem self-evident and right. I worry that doing the relationship work and thought work will result in me tolerating a situation rather than seeking change. Help! 🙂