Hi! So, I am feeling frustrated with my husband. He has a LOT on his plate — work + he’s an artist + he has a son + many projects all at the same time. However, he has several things he’s not taking care of: 1. He bought a dishwasher. The dishwasher has been sitting in the kitchen for 3 weeks, uninstalled. 2. He brought home art, but won’t hang the paintings properly; instead they are precariously learning on things. 3. The windshield wipers do not work on his vehicle so he takes my car if it is raining. I have asked him if I can get the wipers fixed and he says “No..I think I’m gonna sell this and get something different.” (He’s been saying that for months.). As I type all this out I realize I am making him sound like an irresponsible person. So, the good things about him: He always gets anything I need for my website/business done right away. He designs everything I need him to design, quickly and with high quality. He is my best friend. He has elevated my life in so many ways. He is extremely talented. He has his own blocks he needs to work on — and they are manifesting in things like a broken door handle that isn’t replaced, the dishwasher in the kitchen, etc. Also, the garbage disposal needs to be replaced. He had one delivered and now its sitting there. In the meantime I hand wash all the dishes and the sink won’t drain.
So here’s my current model:
T: He never completes anything and then I have to live in chaos
F: resentment and frustration
A: I complain about him to myself and others
R: I am upset AND nothing is done.
Now, I would really like for my R to be that everything gets done. How do I get there from here? Seems impossible…
R: The house is no longer in chaos. Everything is installed/fixed.
I feel there is nothing I can do because I cannot force him to get things done. I said “Well, I could learn to do this myself ” to which he said, “No way, I will do it.” (some of the tasks involve skills such as plumbing which I do not have.). sometimes it takes him months to do things. I am so frustrated.