My husband is on his phone what feel like all the time. I know it’s partly this outlet-texting with friends-but it’s as though it’s glued to his hand. For weeks I haven’t said anything bc I don’t want to push my “manual”, but instead I’m just constantly irritated bc I still “feel like he shouldn’t be on it so much”. I counted today so I could have a clear C to work off of.

C: husband grabbed phone/texted 9 times in one hour
T: wTH is wrong with him, it’s Xmas and he’s not paying attention to the kids
F:irritated
A: give him looks. Ask who he’s texting. Not watching the kids myself. Not as loving with him
R:I’m not paying attention to him or my kids ina Loving way

I don’t know how to proceed. I have to talk to him about it bc it’s hurting how I view our marriage and him. When I’ve brought it up before he’s defensive. Would love help with intentional model. I want to feel love. But I don’t have loving thoughts about his relationship with his phone.
Can we create a model to talk about my concerns too. How do I do that without trying to change him?