My husband and I were having a conversation after an argument we had had the day before. In his words – he wanted to talk about what he had said yesterday because he knows he can come off strong and much more harsh than he means to and he wanted to clear up a couple things he had said.

During this conversation, he said, “I don’t ask you questions about your day or your coaching business because I don’t care. I don’t care what you do during the day or how the business is going, I’ve got other things to care about that pertain to me.” Below is the start of the model I created from this part of the conversation, but am very in my head about this and need your outside perspective.

C: Husband said “I don’t ask you questions about your day or your coaching business because I don’t care.”
T: He doesn’t care about what I’m doing.
F: Hurt
A: The usual…get quiet, avoid bringing up my business or my day with him, ruminate on his words, question what his intention was to say that to me, question if he really meant it or was still upset from the argument, etc
R: I don’t care about what I’m doing.

Here’s where I’m tripping myself up because I do really care about what I’m doing. I only had that T because he said those words. Until the argument and until this conversation, I didn’t think he didn’t care about my business, I just thought he was busy with his own work, but of course still cared about what I’m doing with mine.
The only other Result I can see from this is that I’m hurting myself even more by continuing to think my husband doesn’t care.

I did another somewhat Intentional model on this (below)-

C: Husband said “I don’t ask you questions about your day or your coaching business because I don’t care.”
T: He doesn’t mean that
F: Guarded

But I don’t love that guarded came up for my feeling there, and I also don’t believe my T that he doesn’t mean what he said.

I’m still trying to process what model would make it okay that he doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t need to care about everything I’m doing during the day, and I truly don’t expect him to. I guess I think that if this is something I care so much about, and that since we are in this life together, he could show at least some interest or care in it too since it’s making us good money and allowing us to do things we wouldn’t be able to do without my business.