My husband and I have an agreement to make equal payments to a joint account that pre-authorized payments are withdrawn from. In addition, he is responsible for making the monthly payments on a line of credit that is in my and my dad’s name.
I was finding myself needing to make additional payments into our joint account to cover expenses and when I looked into it more, I found out that my husband hadn’t been paying his share. When I then looked into the line of credit, there were overdue payments there too, and that puts my and my dad’s credit rating in jeopardy.
When I brought it up with my husband, his response was that he knew and that he was planning to make lump sum payments when some business transactions come through.
My concern is the lack of communication and the erosion of trust, since this keeps coming up in our relationship (in other ways too, not just money). I have tried to do some models to try and generate feelings of trust, or even just to have different thoughts about it, but I can’t seem to get to a result that works. The closest I can get involves me taking over the finances and then continuing to do more models on my resulting resentment. Unfortunately from experience, this also leads to him accusing me of being controlling and erodes our relationship in other ways.
The feeling I want to generate is trust, but I also don’t want to trust irresponsibly and jeopardize my financial health based on my husband’s behaviour that I can’t control. I’m getting stuck trying to build an intentional model and getting myself to a place where I feel okay and have clear direction on how to move forward.
Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated!