I had a breakthrough this morning when doing a model. I realized that when I love someone (a partner, a children, a friend) I unconsciously feel responsible for his happiness. That means that I try my best to help, support, do things, think about what they need etc., even if this is not what this person is asking for. And, in the same time, I was not in charge of my own happiness (letting the circumstance, the others determine my emotions).

C: someone I love (my children, my husband, my friend)
T: I want this person to be happy, to have a fulfilled life
F: in charge, pressure
A: I try my best to help, support, do things, think about what they need ect… even if this is not what this person is asking for. I spend time and energy thinking and doing for others.
Thinking others are in charge of my happiness too. Don’t take control of my own life, too busy trying to fix and control my loveone’s life ! (OMG!!!)
R: Ending exhausted, nervous, emotionally sensitive with ups and downs, lack of energy for myself. Resentful.

Intentional Model
C: someone I love
T: Everyone is in charge of his own happiness and this is perfect like that
F: happy and confident
A: take care of myself, my thought and emotions. Be present and helpful from a place of love when needed and asked. Be grounded and balanced.
R: No more waist of energy, better understanding, less pressure on others, less pressure on me. everyone is more happier. I know where I need to stand.

If you can tell me if my model is good, if the things are in the right line. I am trying to learn how to use it 🙂 Thank you