My boss has asked me to say “please and thanks” more often. He’s mentioned he saw in some of my emails (I’m assuming where he has been cc’d or maybe someone came to him and showed him, I don’t know), that they come across as abrupt, short and that I should try and say “please” and “thank you” more. “We’re all trying to be nicer to each other.”

I’ve gone back and looked through my emails over the last week – and most do say “thank you” in some sort of phrase. I did however send a follow up – because some one asked me to send another email if they haven’t gotten a response – this message was just that, a follow up. “Just following up on an earlier message, we’d like x,y,z” and here I did not say “thank you” or “please” specifically.

In trying to work through a model on this, and doing a thought download, I’m stuck on where to start. I can’t figure out the “Circumstance” – or should I start with the “Result” I want, or the “Action” of saying “please and thanks” more.

Some of thoughts I downloaded are:

I do say thank you/please.
What is he talking about?
There are emails that say “please” and “thank you”.
I haven’t asked for much. (These have come up because my boss keeps reminding me how much pressure the other employees are under.)
I am asking in advance. (This too has come up because my boss keeps reminding me how much pressure and how busy the other employees are.)
Am I not nice enough?
I have been nice.
I am nice.
I said please and thanks. (I went back and looked.)
They are hindering my ability to do my job. (They being the other employees, taking a long time to get back to me with regards to the tasks or items I am requesting from them)
So much drama.

Can you help me get started on a model?