During my one on one coaching session, the thought I uncovered was “I did the right thing, and I ended up with nothing.” Other thoughts since the call I unearthed were, “I did the right thing, and I ended up alone” “I did the right thing, and I was left to fend for myself” “I did the right thing and I didn’t get anything I wanted.” “I did the right thing and I ended up hurt to my core while he is fine” (The circumstance was walking away from and not getting involved with a man who is married.)

I am working to challenge these thoughts, because while all of them may feel real, some of them also seem factually true (eg. I did the right thing and I ended up alone.”) I am satisfied that “I did the right thing” based on the fact that if fits my values system and I liked my reasons. But the results have been hard to stomach (never seeing him again, him never contacting me and apologizing for lying and leading me on, and me being alone while he is partnered); and they feel unfair- I am having a hard time letting the feeling of “unfairness” and rejection go (even though, technically speaking, you could argue I rejected him? with my feet maybe, but not with my heart). But what are some actual specific questions I can ask myself to challenge the thoughts I have come up with “I did the right thing and…” that do not serve me?