I have recently started dating someone, and I’ve realized that I don’t like my reasons for not having sex and I don’t like my reasons for having sex.
The reasons I don’t have sex are out of shame, caused by the thoughts: “If I have sex with him, he will think I’m a slut” (which is actually just me afraid of myself for shaming myself) and “He’s going to think I’m gross.”
The reasons I WOULD have sex are out of fear/insecurity, caused by the thoughts: “He wants to and I don’t want him to leave/get bored” and “I feel pressured.”
I don’t like any of the reasons for either decision.
Currently, we have not had sex, as I’m really hung up on making sure that I like my reason when I decide to, but I also hate my reasons for why I’m not.
Any questions or insight that could help me explore this further?