I have a repetitive pattern: I am uncomfortable confronting strangers when they do me wrong. I took my shoes to the cobbler to fix a part that was detaching. After a previous positive experience with him, I was going there thinking I really like this cobbler, he is not really friendly but does such a good job and he is so professional. I will bring him all my shoes to fix.
Then when I came back to pick up the shoes, he showed me the fix and I immediately saw one of them was damaged. But he did not mention it and I pretended I did not see. I said “Ok, perfect” and left. All that time my mind was like: “Ask him to show you the shoe again, and check if it is really damaged”. But I was so embarrassed doing that, I felt ashamed to put him in a situation where he would feel ashamed. I did not want to confront him with the fact that he tried to hide something. I did not even want to open the bag once outside, in case he was looking at me and would think I did not trust him.
I do not understand why I act this way. I have a strong urge to say something in the moment, but I prefer to pretend everything is ok. As if I would break a perfect world if I showed something was wrong or dishonest. I do not have this issue all the time, and almost never with people I know. I feel really angry at myself afterwards, and feel ridiculous. I do not tell anyone, I am afraid people would judge me and think I am weak. I would like to understand what is happening behind the scenes there, it really bothers me.