When people don’t respond in crisis and shut down on you or escape from responsibility. How do you manage?


As family members we talk on and off.

We have a disgruntled mother-in-law who has made very bad decisions and used her sons to cover up and pay for a delusional child that she has protected instead of institutionally getting her rehab.

She is now in hospital for recovery from surgery, the delusional child is into elderly abuse, and the son and daughter-in-law who were helping earlier have now stopped responding.
They agreed that they are hurt from earlier incidents but instead of helping or being concerned are shielding calls and hiding they are in a different country!

All finances are provided by us but now they are using emotional black mail to get us to physically help which is very hard.

How do you refuse these close relations that use you and then shun you as per their needs and refuse to answer your calls etc.?  Are you obligated to help the mom now in hospital who has been warned to prepare for old age and also to help her daughter in the right way? Even though when they were in good health they ignored and laughed off any suggestions?
What do we do when her own family refuses to help and the abusive daughter is in charge?