I Want to Stop This

T I am so tired of waking up everyday scattered and not remembering my vision
F defeated
A don’t follow calendar, don’t self coach, don’t attend networking event, watch tv, go on social, eat all day
R end the day feeling scattered

I am not sure what to put in the C line here?
Also, I would like coaching around getting myself to self coach.
I avoid all work to get me to a better feeling place and to choose a better thought.
It’s like I am addicted to the struggle or that I’d rather be doing all the things in my A line, because they’re more pleasurable. I want to STOP this.