I went to a BBQ party of our friends on Saturday. These are friends who chronologically were my husband’s friends first. Now they are ours. But this time I thought it was different because my husband is away and I decided to attend the BBQ without him, something I’ve never done before.

I was very excited because I truly love them and love all their friends. I looked and dressed good and still found myself drinking 4 glasses of wine throughout the day there.
Needless to say it made me wake up with an emergency alert written all over my swollen face and a mood to bury myself in bed.

I am a person who drinks one glass every quarter or so, it’s not like I’m even a drinker, so I wondered why did I need all those glasses of wine.
I could not recall feeling any discomfort there. I felt loved, welcomed, and at peace. Truly.

Maybe subconsciously I thought that attending by myself I am not enough and needed to smooth my edges there. So strange, in a curious way.