Impossible goal : romantic relationship

Can this be considered an impossible goal ?
{{My impossible goal is to be in a relationship December 2021. }}
I hear quite often, “You are so attractive, I’m surprised you aren’t in a relationship or married.”
I’m 49 and I haven’t been a relationship in many years. I have negative beliefs in this area.
I know a man ( “ good man”) that many people have said , “Eric has cared deeply for you for years. I learned in a coaching session that my thoughts about him were, “ I don’t feel anything romantic for him. He’s been a friend for decades.
Ok. Sure , I could work on my thoughts about him **BUT** I have herpes. I’m afraid that after I’ve done all the mind work to possibly like him and THEN disclose to him and get rejected.

This work could be an opportunity for a met goal AND/OR one huge failure leading to who I might meet on a dating site for people with herpes etc .

Side note: No, I haven’t contributed my herpes diagnosis to the reason I’m not in a romantic relationship. I had this romantic relationship issue before my surprise diagnosis.

C: I’m single
T: after all these years of wanting a relationship, do I want one at this age
F: indifferent
A:do nothing about it
R: no romantic relationship

C: I’m single
T: men who are age appropriate aren’t attractive
F: hopeless
A: inaction. I’m signed up on a dating site but don’t update my profile with more than two pictures, don’t let someone else read my profile, ruminate over rather I want him to be a Christian ( in the past for years I have thoughts about him being a Christian- another model )
R: no romantic relationship

* Do I think herpes is the underline issue ? No, I had this issue before my diagnosis. I think everyone in America has 1 or 2 until they prove me wrong with a negative test result. Yes, I do have issue with telling anyone I’m NOT going to have sex with because of the judgment.