I get anxious when my husband drinks. Very rarely he’s been a belligerent drunk, maybe 4 times in 11 years. But I get anxious when he drinks and I’m sober. In this situation he’s drinking with siblings to celebrate a special birthday. I’m sober and reading in the hotel room with my daughter. I don’t want to feel anxious and apprehensive and disconnected when he drinks. Interestingly my daughter feels that when I drink – I’m not always a nice drunk, so I’ve drastically reduced my intake.
C: husband drinking wine with his family and I am sober
T: I want to feel ok with this
F: anxious
A: criticise him, tell him not to drink too much, feel bad
R: I don’t feel ok

How do I get to a point that I’m ok- that I don’t let the – truly benign- actions of another, affect me so much. I worry he’ll get too drunk and be mean, although that’s so very rarely happened and if I don’t start a fight it won’t happen. He isn’t argumentative unless I am.
I want to not get anxious and stressed out and be neutral and not need him to change his behavior so I can feel ok. New Ts you could suggest? Thanks!