Hi Brooke & team. For a month now i have been coaching myself daily, and through the holidays there were plently of opportunities! However, this evening i cant quite get to an intentional model. Ive done a few unintentional models on the same scenario/arguement with the goal of saying whats on my mind and my bf reaction not affecting me.
C- bf says nothing when i let him know paper and cardboard doesnt go in garbage
T- he didnt say anything so he must not have heard me or is ignoring me
F- ignored
A- ask him if he heard me
R- receive clarity that he heard me

C- he stated he heard me in a louder than normal voice (we would both agree on that)
T- his tone has changed, why is he so upset?
F- curious
A- ask him if he is annoyed
R- learn he gets annoyed when i remind him to recycle

I did a few more models and realized that i want an outcome that is out of my control. I want him not to react childish when i remind him to put paper in recycling. I understand and accept i cannot have this but am having a hard time coming up with a model that is believable.
Intentional:
C- he stated he heard me in a louder than normal voice
T- he has been triggered for his own reasons and thats ok
F- accepting
A- this is where it gets tough for me, even though i want to act accepting, i am unable to fully embrace that feeling or actions to follow.
The result that i would love would me be able to walk away from the conversation having stated my point and then unaffected as to whatever his reaction is.
If you could provide any suggestions when working with the intentional model i would appreciate the feedback, and of course if improvements can be made elsewhere. Thanks a bunch!