Is this really a marriage?

Hi! My husband and I have been married for 3 years. We haven’t had sex in 13 months. He lives in San Diego for his business and I live in Seattle. I am a flight attendant. My husband doesn’t contribute financially to this marriage and honestly I feel like the marriage has been abandoned.

We have gone to counseling and set up times for us to have a “marriage meeting” but he doesn’t follow through with his commitments. He says it is because he doesn’t want to fail the small goals we set for our marriage, like showing up to talk to me on Saturday. I want to feel like I have a partner. I want to feel like I belong in my marriage. Right now all I feel is loneliness and anger. I want my marriage to work but I am not sure how to make it work and my thoughts start going to wanting to end the marriage so I can give myself a shot at another marriage.

I want to have a baby and I am 48. This is my first marriage and I just feel let down by the promises that he made.


C- My marriage
T- My husband has abandoned the marriage
F- Lonely and Angry and Betrayed
A- Retreat
R- Stagnant marriage

Can you help me with bridge thoughts and creating a more intentional model knowing I cannot change him.