Issues Committing to Career and Myself

Hi Brooke!

First I just want to say that I’m thrilled to be part of Self Coaching Scholars. Thank you for offering this program!

When I was in my early twenties, I read Take Time for Your Life by Cheryl Richardson and decided that someday (mid-life?) I wanted to become a life coach and make $X doing it.

Fast forward to today, I just turned 37. I’ve done well in my corporate career and now lead a group of 100+ employees at a major consulting firm. I make the $X that was part of my goal from years ago, and I try to incorporate coaching techniques in my work. But, I haven’t yet changed careers to become a life coach.

This past summer I had an increasing sense that it was time start thinking about the next phase of my career. I felt like I had gotten great experience in my corporate career and now wanted to return to my dream of being an entrepreneur and coach. Then in September, I found your podcasts. Life changing! I love your way of looking at human experience, I love The Model.

I listened to How To Be A LIfe Coach podcast from start to finish. I started implementing the 14 steps. And then… I started spinning. For example, I created a website on Wix that was pretty much ready to go, and then I decided I should use WordPress instead. Then I decided I didn’t really want to do this as a career, and maybe I would just blog. Then I decided that I did want it as a career, but I should try to design a program first. Around and around I went.

When I step back and become The Watcher, I see myself spinning. It’s so clear. And I think I am spinning because I haven’t really committed to doing this yet – I haven’t committed to creating a new career as a life coach.

But here’s the thing. I don’t think this is just about committing to a new career, either. Because what do you teach? You teach that “It’s not what you do, it’s who you are.” It’s not about committing to a career path, it’s about committing to becoming the person I want to be.

So why haven’t I committed to becoming the person I want to be?

Here are two things that come up for me. I think both are true to an extent, but I’d love to get your perspective and any ideas you have for how I can practice moving forward.

Scenario #1: Buffering. I want to become someone who lives an authentic life and experiences all the benefits of being true to oneself. However, as you point out when you talk about buffering, living an authentic life involves discomfort and experiencing negative emotion. Maybe my lack of commitment is just a way for me to stay in my current comfort zone.

Scenario #2: Feeling worthless. Here is a model that came up for me:

Thought: If I focus on becoming the person I want to be, I’ll be spending my time and energy on myself. I’m not worth investing in.

Feeling: Worthless.

Action: Continue to invest time and energy to please others.

Result: Don’t get to experience being the person I want to become, so don’t get validation that it is worth my time and energy.

Thank you, Brooke!