I am currently completing an ivf cycle. This cycle may not yield a great outcome and I am confused with my feelings. I had previous complicated pregnancies so I am worried about another pregnancy based on my health profile. Basically conflicted between I am 40 and running out of time and, if I get pregnant, I will have terrible outcome and worry about it.

C ivf
T- wasted efforts wasted a lot of money, I am 40 and if I don’t try now it will be too late. Would love to have another child but not sure if I can carry pregnancy.
f- disappointment
a- ruminating, judging myself and my health, judging my age. Feeling sad about closing this chapter
R- wasting/ watching my time and life go by

I suspect I am spinning and indulging in confusion. Fear at the thought of pregnancy and disappointment at the thought of not having a pregnancy.