July Homework Question – KL


Brooke and team,
You guys are great. I’m feeling really excited/ motivated to have finally started doing this work after I spent some time doing some serious podcast listening. This is my first month.

I have a question on the July homework – I’m confused about what it is we’re supposed to be modeling. For example, when I write down what was great about yesterday, this is what I have:
– spent quality time with husband, worked-out, did my self-coaching homework
this is what was bad about yesterday and how I can change it in my mind to make it great
– got into argument with husband because I blamed him for my emotions (but was able to turn it around). I learned that I can influence whether I have fun with my husband or not – that I have the power in the moment to change things.

This is what I’m modeling from there:
Unintentional model:
C: husband not talkative; sad
T: Why can’t he just get over it?
F: annoyed
A: tell my husband I’m annoyed
R: Argument with husband – he doesn’t feel any better and I don’t enjoy myself either

Intentional model:
C: same
T: I love my husband, no matter what
F: love
A: pick another activity to do (that doesn’t involve talking)
R: enjoy our time together.

The thing is that both of these things actually happened yesterday – I realized I was making myself annoyed (and blaming my husband) but then switched my thoughts/ feelings/ actions and suggested a new activity with him and then we had fun.

So my question is, am I doing the homework right? I’m not clear if I’m supposed to be modeling something that just generally didn’t go well and that I didn’t have the wherewithal to change things in the moment. Or, does it not really matter?

Thank you for your help!