Hello Brooke and fellow scholars,
I just wanted to share a small learning/realization I had this noon.
I was thinking about why my friend hadn’t responded to my text since yesterday.
My thoughts were:
They didn’t like spending time with us.
Probably I came out too strong.
I shouldn’t have shared my “big” goals with them.
I then caught myself having this urge to casually text her, ask her how’s her day going, so I could get her to respond to me. It was urge to relieve myself from this feeling of rejection that I wanted to get rid of. So interesting!!
This was the model I was operating on:
C: Friend sent no text after lunch
T: They hated me since I came out too strong
A: Relieve myself from feeling rejection. Want to send casual text (even though I don’t really meant it) asking about her day. Somehow get her to respond to me so that I can stop feeling being rejected
R: I second guess my words and actions and disapprove myself.
I realized that it was actually an urge to send her the text, so I could get rid of the negative emotion and make myself feel better. I deliberately decided not to send the text but sit with rejection, feel it, be compassionate with myself. I felt so empowered.
Wow Brooke, I love this work. I wanted to share it here so it serves as a reminder for myself and may even help someone. Thank you.