Just the Aunt

My nephew is verbally abusive to my niece and my Sister doesn’t do anything to stop it. They don’t even live in the same home anymore because my niece is 23. He is 17. So the usual sibling conflicts which exist in most homes isn’t fueling this. My sister got divorced several years ago mainly because of her ex-husbands bad temper. Now my nephew demonstrates even worse behavior but only towards his sister. She also has a twin. Her twin was always unkind to his sister and now the younger son is mimicking everything his older brother did and more. The 2 boys only got close recently and he’s very much wanting to be in line with his older brothers thinking and actions.
The things he says are very emotionally abusive. The type of language used by someone to really attempting to belittle another person.
This behavior is never witnessed by me personally because he knows I won’t tolerate it. He does it in front of my sister all the time. My niece has forwarded texts to me once. I talked with him about that incident and he said he was only joking.

When they were younger she was such a caring older sister. When my sister got divorced my niece totally took him under her wing. She was always worried about him being left alone while my sister worked, gave him money to buy things and drove him anyplace he wanted to go. Just recently she paid for his airfare to go on a family vacation. There is no logic to his verbal abuse other than learned behavior with no other outlet that will tolerate it except his sister.

C Jake told his sister “Go fuck yourself. This is why everyone hates you”
T My sister does nothing to parent in this situation
F Anger
A Withdraw from Jake
R Nothing changes

My niece even dealt with this while they were on a family vacation in Hawaii. What should’ve been a happy time.
This circumstance is a minor example and this occurs with frequency. This is not even indicative of how we behave in my family.

Having said all this I have been in Scholars long enough to know this story is loaded with my thoughts. I’ve just finished hearing about another of his tirades and my thoughts and emotions are unintentional at the moment.

I feel very protective of my niece. Especially since she wants a close relationship with her brother so badly that she will still be around Jake despite all this. I want to get to a better place in my thoughts about my sisters parenting and my nephews behavior.