Since the first of the year my husband has been in and out of ER 3 times and also had a 3 day hospital stay because of a dizziness that comes on and lasts about 2 hours. A lot has been ruled out but the cause has not been found yet after numerous tests. When the event is over everything is back to normal. I know he is an adult and I can’t control him, nor in any way can I keep him safe. I also know worry is a waste of energy and of no use. I also recognize that my wanting to keep him safe is coming from my old role model/belief of believing I am responsible for what happens to him and his emotions. I have come to see that I have written a manual on what he needs to do to have good health and be safe. How can I move forward during this unknown circumstance in a healthier way?
I have found the skills I’ve been learning have been very useful when I fall into my emotional erupting during all of this. I have been able to get myself back under control and tend to what needs to be done, yet I worry for his safety and the unknown. Do you have any suggestions? I have done a model on myself and am wondering if I am on target because I can’t find the R line.
C: Husband drove car alone to play cards with friends
T: I worry he will have one of those dizzy sessions
A: keep busy, prep our supper, stop my mind from “what if”, change my thoughts from worry to “he is ok”, called him twice to check on him, ask when to expect his return home.