Hi,
I’ve been in this program for about a month and a half and Kara Lowentheil’s ‘The Clutch’ for almost a year. I feel like I have had great results in my relationships with 1) my family (including my parents, my kids, and my ex-husband) 2) my resentments around staying home and housework, 3) reducing unnecessary relationship drama/accepting people for who they are, 3) and made some progress on work/life balance. But, I feel like I have gone backward or lost ground in some areas. Mainly I have gained about 10 lbs, which puts me about 20-25 lbs over my preferred weight, I have a lot of fears and lack of confidence professionally (unemployed and very stuck around my job search) and around making new friends (the former is somewhat new and the latter is not), and my relationship is pretty much a mess (though, in my opinion, largely because of actions my partner is taking that are not about me).
I feel extremely unhappy about the issues I have not been able to resolve (unemployed, likely breakup with boyfriend 3+ years who has been sleeping with other people, weight gain, less money, and nice clothes than I would like, etc.) I feel like I am being too hard on myself and it is not helping me.
I guess I am wondering if there is some sort of shortcut for more tangible results. Like if I were to narrow things down to priorities of my career and self-esteem, how can I see results sooner. I feel really miserable about not doing better in these areas, and I feel continuing, in the same way, is not productive. Any suggestions are appreciated.
C: Circumstances do not match my expectations
T: Thoughtwork is not working
F: Miserable
A: Avoid taking actions that will address the issues I want to improve, think about what has gone wrong in the past, or what could go wrong in the future, don’t recognize the good things about myself or my life, insist on perfection over reality
R: I experience my life not working
C: same
T: I can take responsibility for my choices
F: Calmer
A: Do models, think about positive things in my life, recognize that I am not perfect, take responsibility for not taking action, stop behaving like a victim, open to experiencing the truth of the situation instead of the complicated explanations my brain offers, manage my expectations, take things one step at a time
R: I create the possibility of being responsible
