Last 15 pounds (Anna)

Hi Brooke,

I am on my last 15 pounds… I am a size 4 already. In photos I can see how skinny I am. However, when I look at myself I can see that I have 15 pounds to lose. I also have to admit when I was 190, I never thought I looked that big (size 14 pants, dresses size 16-18), unless I looked at myself in photos. It’s a bit strange for me – because I see myself as I have always seen myself at 190 and at 140 – it is the photographs where I can see small or big, especially if I compare side by side.

My goal is to weigh 125, I am 5’4″ (although, again, I have always felt 5’6). I must manage my mind to lose the last 15 pounds, and I feel as though I am very self-aware nowadays to know if 125 suits me when I reach my goal. I get comments from others asking if I am losing weight on purpose, or if I am stopping now. These questions do make me ponder if I am looking emaciated (I don’t think so). But I also can’t believe I am the person buying size 4 pants or dresses – it does bring up old thoughts that 4 is really small. I kind of want to ask other skinny ladies what size they wear because this is so foreign to me.

One more thing, I will be asking for live coaching on this but I have not planned an exception. I have unplanned exceptions, I have also received tutoring and coaching on this, but just having a mental block. It’s kind of the same with planning to fail. I am really having a hard time with the thought that I willfully plan to fail/I willfully plan an exception.

Thanks for SCS – it has been an amazing year. I am so looking forward to 2018.