Lawsuit Struggle

I was named in a lawsuit for a medical case that I was involved in as a healthcare provider and I’m having trouble coping with this. I keep replaying the case over and over in my head, finding all the things I should have done differently and all the ways I fell short of providing the care I wanted to. Unfortunately, this case had a devastating outcome for a pediatric patient. I don’t know how to accept that this event happened when it could have been my fault. How do you accept and embrace failure when for me it can have such terrible consequences? I’m filled with regret and with heartbreak for the family involved.

I am so negative at work now and only seem to see my mistakes and how I’m failing. It seems like everyone else is doing a better job than I am. It makes me feel like I chose the wrong career and should have chosen something that I could excel at rather than one in which I only seem to get criticism. I’m so afraid that I’m going to make another mistake and be judged for it. I feel like I couldn’t handle one more thing.

Sorry I guess this is a little bit of an emotional dump but I’m feeling a little lost and would love some direction for how to begin to reframe this. Thanks.