When you like your reason for believing what you did was wrong

Hi Brooke!

I’ve been pondering the last coaching call you led in January – the one in which several women were trying to deal with their thoughts about divorce. The women expressed that some of their pain stemmed from the idea that divorce was wrong, and you helped them work through thought alternatives to that, such as “I SHOULD have gotten a divorce.”

My question for you today involves situations like these, where I have done something I believe is wrong, but where (here is the key) I do NOT want to believe that what I did WASN’T wrong. For example, if I do something that the God of the Bible calls a sin, I would not want to believe that I SHOULD have done it, only that I DID and that I can’t change that fact.

If I came upon this situation, and wanted to keep the belief that what I did was wrong, would you say that the questions I should ask myself now are “how are you thinking about the fact that you did something wrong?” and “how would you like to act, now, given that you have done something wrong?” These questions make sense to me, and would certainly produce excellent thoughtwork and compassion, but I want to know if you would react differently.

This is not actually causing me pain right now, I am simply always interested in learning the fullness of your practice 🙂 Thanks for your insights!