loneliness dilemma

Hi coaches, I have a basic question but I see myself being still creating suffering around it.

I often feel lonely/disconnected from the thought “I do not have connections in my life.” My questions are:

– How do you discover the difference between what is a true desire (to connect with someone) from a missing out (My life could be expanded if I could create more connections in ways I like)?

– How much is the work about processing the feeling and not try to solve for it, and how much is it “legitimate” and “healthy” to go out in the world and create premises to feel less of it?

I see it well connected to the difference between urges and true desires. It looks like I am struggling to find a clear answer in my brain to these questions. Thanks for the help!