Looking back – AMD

Hi Brooke,
Thanks for spending so much time coaching me on Thursday on Writing & Staying On Protocol. I’m so excited for the future and yes, a little freaked, but I will drag fear along behind me if it insists on coming along.

While reviewing 2017, I went back to some of the prior month’s Q&A’s to see what results I might have posted and forgot.
In October I found this–I had a mind blowing moment at the Modelathon and posted this model:

C: Employment
T: I don’t need my job
F: Open, expansive
A: Work at new business in evenings instead of overworking at job
R: I don’t need my job.

Holy Crow, the action I put there… that is exactly what I’ve been doing. I had totally forgot that moment in the excitement of writing. No wonder I’m fortifying myself. It’s like until recently, that R was not visible to me, like it was behind a fog bank, but I believed it must be there. Now that I’ve got traction, the fog blows aside occasionally and that R is back there. I can see it. And I want it so much. More than anything. So when I glimpse it, I freeze up in excitement and a fear. I’m close, what if I blow it?

C: writing a book
T: I’m close, what if I blow it?
F: Freeze
A: Eat
R: Gain Weight, have to work on losing weight, don’t work on book

C: Writing a book
T: For sure I’m going to blow it, now what?
F: Joy
A: Keep Writing! Write 3 failed novels… that is my goal.
R: write 3 novels.

Also, I don’t want to quit my job, I like my job and I love to work. But I don’t want to feel that I’m there because I have to be and I don’t want to be there at the expense of myself. I want to feel that I’m there because I choose to be. And that’s available to me right now:

T: I work my day job because I choose to
F: confident
A: Work hard, stop on time, go home, write like a banshee
R: Working that day job, because I choose to.

Well, Sister, the Amy from 2016 would have never worked through this. How do I know? Because she didn’t. SCS – best investment ever.