How do I make my bad feelings go away?

Hi Brooke, I am new to SCS. I have had constant issues with my younger sister for many years now, she keeps taking my stuff. She has recently published a book under her name with no reference to me whatsoever, plagiarising my work, she dumped me from her wedding party without a reason . . . . . the list goes on with uncool sister things to do. I have come to a place where I no longer want to have a relationship with her, I just don’t trust her anymore, I love her of course but I am not willing to invest my time and energy into a relationship that just doesn’t feel loving, nourishing or reciprocal. We haven’t spoken in 3 years except for the occasional text when one of our kids has a birthday. She is doing really well in a business that was my idea, after my Dad died she and her husband were given the family business and she is also making money from a book with my content in it.

I feel so jealous, angry, resentful and bitter. When I look at the facts, I can just say “Belinda has written a book” “Belinda was given Dad’s business” “Belinda lives in a big million dollar house” I can do that part ok but my huge feelings of how unfair it is and how mean she is and how can anybody do that to their only sister grip me and I feel sick to the pit of my stomach. I want to do this work so badly, I want her out of my head and I want to be free more than anything in the world. I want the bad feelings to go away as they make me very unhappy, sad and often depressed.

I get really angry with myself because I know I am creating the bad feelings by the thoughts I am thinking, but I don’t know how to stop. Do I try and change my thoughts (repackage them with the fact thought only) and then my feelings will be different? I would love more than anything to come to your 6 day program in Feb next year but I live in New Zealand and with flights, accommodation and the exchange rate it would be close to $20k for me, so I don’t think its possible right now. However, I am nearly 50 and there is so much a want to be and do and being resentful is not one of them. Its totally exhausting and depleting in every way and this default pattern of mine needs to GO. I would appreciate any advice you may be able to give. Thank you so much Brooke, I am deeply appreciative. Best wishes Bridget